Some thoughts on Disney princesses
It’s funny how, in every Disney movie, there’s always a part where the princess serenades some small, fluffy woodland creatures during a musical number.
And it’s funnier still how the animals seem to thoroughly enjoy the experience, rather than following natural instinct and savagely attacking the stupid human. Who, for some strange reason, thought she was in a petting zoo, rather than oh I don’t know, in the middle of a fucking forest with wild animals.
In fact, forget about mattresses and peas – if a situation ever arises in your life where you need to figure out who the princess is, stick her in a room with some ducklings, a baby raccoon and a honey badger and give her the sheet music to Dancing in the Rain.
If she comes out with all her fingers still attached and without rabies, you’ve got your girl.